Two very gross stories.

Okay, I really want to make sure that you understand that these stories are very gross.

I mean it.

Gross.

If you're not into that, then click out of here, fast!

Because here goes...

2nd place gross:

Erik and I were sick this week and I got it first. On Monday I pretty much puked my guts out. It was really bad. I haven't been sick like that in a long time. It was violent. The peak of the puking violence came when the babies were in bed napping (a tender mercy), but Reid wasn't. Unfortunately. He was happily playing while I was in the bathroom, puking, and then came in to see what I was up to. The poor thing came in to see me retching into the toilet and started exclaiming, "Momma! Doing? Momma! Doing?"

His way of saying, "mom, what the heck are you doing?, and stop it right now!"

So cute.

Then, when that round was finished and I was kind of cleaning up in the sink, he stood up on the toilet seat next to the sink and put his hand on my shoulder and as I was rinsing and wiping my mouth said, "Okay now momma? Okay now? Momma, okay now?"

He is such a treasure.

And I hate throwing up.

1st place gross:

Dane has trouble pooping sometimes. Every now and then he'll go a few days without a decent poop and I can tell he gets uncomfortable, and that's when it's time to give him a suppository.

I know, this is gross. But I warned you. You still have time to get out now if you need to.

A few days ago I gave him a suppository. Usually what happens is he first poops a "plug" kind of poop and then once that's out he's able to poop the rest like normal. That's what happened this time also, except that when the firmer poop came out he pooped it out with such force that it flew out! No lie. It was like in the movies when someone pops a bottle of Champagne or something and it goes flying. Like on Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd kills the owl. I literally saw poop fly through the air, then land on my carpet.

It was completely disgusting, and so surprising that I didn't quite know what to do. Dane was still on the changing table, finishing his business, and I now had poop on the floor. Crazy.

Okay, so I know that story was really gross, but I hope the funniness of it makes up for the grossness.

And that is my life. I never my life could be filled with so much poop.

And so many sweet babies.