oh, for heaven's sake.

I don't think I'm fashionable enough to say I'm into fashion.  I mean seriously.  Sir Spits-A-Lot and Sir Squawks-A-Lot pretty much dictate my clothing choices right now.  Indirectly, of course, but still.  

(Although, Reid is a dream to have around when I'm getting dressed.  Besides the fact that yesterday as I was dressing he was running circles around me like I was an orange cone or something, he makes me feel good when I'm all done getting ready.  I always hear, "oh, momma pity (pretty)."  Then he says, "Reid pity."  He's all about his sense of self.  More about that later.)

So, back to the subject.  I'm totally not an authority on fashion, but I'm seeing a lot of crazy things out there lately.  Harem pants?  Seriously?  Because it looked so good on MC Hammer?  Or Mr. Naugle? (for you Emily Gray JHS alums out there.  Mr. Naugle was rad, huh?)

There's a blog I like (no, not just like it.  I love it.  She's cool, a graphic designer, a mom, and Mormon!  I love me a cool Mormon mom.) with a post about ugly boots.  I've been seeing a LOT of ugly boots lately.  I don't get it.  I saved these pictures in iphoto just in case I felt like blogging about ugly boots someday.  Today is that day.

Believe me, they are ugly.

What?  A horrible color, studded, and toeless?  I think they were trying to make the world's ugliest shoe.  I can't remember where I found this gem.
I do remember where I found this one, however, and it's going to hurt your feelings when I say where.  You ready?

Anthropologie.

I know...what?  Certainly not my Anthropologie?!  Not my heaven on earth?!

It's true.  While Anthropologie has amazing clothes, accessories, and home decor...it has just about the ugliest selection of shoes out there.  Every now and then there's something cute, but for the most part...ugly.  Look at these, for example.  Crinkled leather, fringed, toeless, and HEEL-less!  Oh, it's just so bad.

I feel bad calling something ugly, even inanimate objects (or animate objects like hippos, even though they are like the ugliest animal ever) but for these boots, it had to be said.

I feel better now.

I need serious help.

You know how I struggle every day with the bangs or no bangs dilemma?
It's bad.

But I have come to a conclusion...I would rather live my life doing things than not doing things. You know what I mean? I would rather go for it and have it turn out horribly than have the same boring hair for the rest of my life. So, bangs here we come.

Oh, and I also wrestle with the concept of coloring my hair. It's the same "granola vs. J. Lo" struggle that I've mentioned before. Part of me is all "I want to be natural and free" and part of me wants to wear electric blue eyeshadow and glam it up. Usually when I think about coloring my hair I debate over red or black. This time, I'm going red.

Run, don't walk, to InStyle and play with the Hair Makeover Tool (in the top left corner).
It's way too much fun.
Here are some new Emily hair ideas for your consideration. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions on this matter. (and yes William, I know you don't like bangs, but try to be objective) To me, fun new hair is a very, very big deal. Mostly because in my near-zombie/mother of 3 little ones/desperate for sleep state, small improvements go a very long way. Or at least I tell myself that. This is the Ashlee Simpson. I love her color (doesn't show up as well here) but I can't stand! the way she and Pete always have hair slicked to their foreheads. Is it just me?

This is the Reese Witherspoon but dyed red (and my favorite look from the makeover tool) Yes, that's right, when I said red...I meant red. My mom is nervous that I'll look like a lady of the night, but I think the above picture looks very un-hookerish. Maybe because I'm surrounded by an adorable family, but still.

The Julia Roberts. I like it, a lot. But I think I want a little more pizazz.

The Camilla Belle. What I like about this one is that if I cut my hair like this then Jill and I could be twins! Have you been to her blog yet? I know I talk about her all the time, but seriously, could someone be any cooler?

This is the Julianne Moore. I know I said red, but I don't think I want this red of red. I don't want to lift any color out of my already pretty dark hair, so I can only get as red as will seep into my brown hair. Is that how it works Natalie?

Just for fun, the Rhianna. I like this one and may go for it after I get sick of the red.

and for when my hair gets longer, the Jennifer Garner. This is actually just wishful thinking though. Since having kids my hair isn't as thick as all that. And my feet got bigger. But more on that later.

The America Ferrara, but in red. Cute cut, but I definitely need more pizazz. From some bangs.

This is the Rachel Bilson. I like this hairdo on me a lot, but it's for when my hair gets longer and when the granola side revolts against the J. Lo side and I get all natural again. I know, I act like I have no control over this, but you don't understand...they are two very powerful forces inside of me.

and lastly, the January Jones. I am not meant to be a blond, but it was fun to give it a try. I don't know...maybe someday.

So what do you think? Are you feeling the red Reese Witherspoon? Or would I, in fact, look like a lady of the night. As you can see, I need your help.

Oh, and sorry for making you look at my mug so many times. At least you got to see the handsome huz and our 3 little ones each time, too. And look at how tiny those babies are! They were only 2 weeks old then! Breaks my heart.

Right about now you're thinking, "she hasn't blogged in like two weeks, and then blogs this nonsense?"

Well, we're visiting family in Arizona (hooray for Tucson!) so that's my excuse for the unintended blog break...and about the nonsense...did you really expect anything different? Come on, you know me by now.

my famous family.

Remember a few posts back when I said the famous people that I've been told that I look like and asked who you have been told you look like? Remember that?
I think that's a funny thing to think about.
When things are funny I like to take them to ridiculous levels.
This is one of those times.

Here is my famous family, or rather, if a movie was to be made about my family this is who I would cast. This is all nonsense, by the way, so I realize that some of these actors are dead, some aren't really even actors, and the ages don't match. Don't get hung up on that, this is fake anyway.

And to my dear family, I hope these casting choices don't offend. Feel free to recast yourself for my fake movie if you deem it necessary.
This is the real family. What a good-looking bunch. They are all too busy being awesome or else they'd just make the fake movie themselves. But since awesomeness is taking all of their time, we'll hire out. This is who it'll be:

Dad: Clark Gable. Dad has a very "Old Hollywood" handsome thing going on. The full hair that combs to the side, the dashing gray sides, and dad was born to wear a suit. Sure, Clark Gable is dead (he is right?) but for the fake movie land he's starring as dad.

Mom: The woman that plays the mom on "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". She (her name is Lainie Kazan) gets my pick because she is the ultimate "movie mom". She's in everything. My mom is the ultimate mom, so it makes sense.

No, I should have written THE ULTIMATE mom.

Needed the dramatic emphasis.

You know how in MBFGW she was overbearing and sweet and would do anything to make her daughter Toula happy? And remember how she's the young Bette Midler's mom in "Beaches"? And she's overbearing and sweet and would do anything to make her daughter C.C. happy? Notice a pattern?

Plus, who else could look as good as mom in big hair?

Brian: John Travolta in the disco years. Actually, one year at BYU Brian found a white suit at DI and was a ringer for John Travolta at the Halloween party the my roommates and I had. I have pictures of it but it was pre-digital camera days so someday if I scan them onto the computer I'll show you. Except then you'd have to see me from that party, too. I was Michael Jackson from the Thriller years and it was not cute.

You know what, I bet Brian has some sweet moves like Travolta, too. Deep down inside.

Matt: I think the closest that Hollywood comes to my brother Matt is Matt Damon. Plus, Matt's mental clock speed is about a million miles an hour, like Jason Bourne, so I think this casting choice fits.

William: This one is scary. I bet William has been told he looks like Fred Savage about a hundred times. I think it's uncanny. And what nice hair. William looks very "boy next door" to me. This choice was easy. Although, when Shrek turns into a human and not an ogre, he looks an awful lot like William, too. Except even in a fake movie it would be weird to have a family full of real people and one cartoon person.

Annie: Annie gets this one a lot. I think it's the freckles.

I think it's because she's cute as a button. Just like Annie. This one works pretty well, I think. Check out Annie's blog and look at her profile picture on the right. Pretty close to the one of Soleil Moon Frye (above). Rad.

The huz: Erik has a very strong Dave Grohl vein that runs through him. I think they are kindred spirits. That is if Dave Grohl cut his hair, wore a uniform, and didn't swear/smoke/drink/etc. They are both cool and crazy funny. I bet you didn't know that about Erik. He seems so easy-going and chill, right? Well, he is. But he's also the funniest person I know. If you want to see Dave Grohl being funny, check this out.

And lastly, for myself I'm going to upgrade to Alyssa Milano. She would play me in the movie of my life if my life included being miraculously hot after having 3 babies like bing-bam-boom! Or, I could play her in the movie of her life as her after she let herself go. That would be rad.

I need to do some more thinking to find good picks for sisters-in-law and neices and nephews. And of course my little ones. Maybe a future post.

Do you want to be in my movie? Just say who you would cast and you're in!

(Cheri, Melissa Joan Hart - totally. I watched too many episodes of "Clarissa explains it all" considering how dumb it was. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, too. Same story. Does anyone remember the theme song? "Na Na na Na na na...na na Na na Na na...way cool!" Jan, you're way prettier than Jamie Lee Curtis, but I can see what people are getting at. Same facial bone structure, both tall, etc. Emily, I would cast Cameron Diaz for you, too. You're both way hot blonds with beautiful smiles. Casy, Jodie Foster? I don't see that at all. You're totally better looking than Jodie Foster. I'm not sure who for you, but not her.)